Diagnosis Butcheritis: The Follow-Up


May 20, 2013 by Kira Lyn Blue

Holy schnikes! It’s been two full weeks since the doc prescribed some time off from Murphy’s First Law to cure my case of Butcheritis. I don’t know whether to be thrilled that it’s time to get back to work on Jac’s story or terrified.

nurse squirrelLet’s see what Doctor Squirrel has to say…

Dr. S: “Well, KLB, tell me how you’re feeling since I saw you last.”

KLB: “Pretty good, doc. Been having a blast with blog posts, read some good books, got some work done on Toni’s book…”

Dr. S: “Now, Kira, you’re avoiding the point of my question. How do you feel about going back to work on MFL?”

KLB: “Umm…”

Dr. S: Her beady eyes pin me with a knowing look and she sighs. “Okay, let’s try this another way. I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer me as honestly as you can. Can you do that for me?”

KLB: “I’m a writer, doc. Any answers I make up will be more entertaining.”

Dr. S: “You wanna play hard case, I’ve got a nutcracker in my med kit.”

KLB: “Point taken. I’ll behave.”

Dr. S: “Good. You said you’ve been reading. Have any of the books you’ve read recently made you feel inferior as a writer?”

KLB: Not until you mentioned it, no.”

Dr. S: Sensing my anxiety, she pats my knee with a tiny paw. “No, dear. This is a good thing. It does you no good to compare yourself to others. It’s encouraging that you have not been doing so.”

KLB: “Right.”

Dr. S: “Have you had any recent urges to delete the entire novel and start fresh?”

KLB: “No.”

Dr. S: “Nutcrackers, Kira.”

KLB: “Okay, maybe just one time, but it wasn’t serious. Jac took a sledgehammer and pounded that thought right out of my head the moment it hit.”

Dr. S: “So, Jac is talking to you again?” A doctor should not look this pleased to hear her patient admit she hears voices in her head.

KLB: “She’s starting to get a little rowdy. I think she’s jealous of Toni.”

Dr. S: “Excellent!” She claps her paws together excitedly. “It sounds like you’re ready then.”

KLB: “I dunno, doc. Maybe I should give it another week and spend some more time with Toni. I was also re-reading the Kate Daniels series and I think Ilona Andrews is a good influence on me. Maybe I should finish that first?”

Dr. S: “I quite agree with you on the Kate Daniels series. However, only if you truly believe you need the inspiration, not if you’re using it as an excuse to delay finishing MFL.”

KLB: “Dammit. How do you know me so well?”

Dr. S: “I’m a figment of your imagination, dear.”

KLB: “Valid.”


This is a real thing. Click the image if you dare.

Ok, so Dr. Squirrel has pronounced my Butcheritis to be in remission. I have no excuse not to get back to revising Jac’s story. So, I guess I’ll put my big girl panties on and dive back into the deep end and see what I can do.

Wish me luck!

Oh, and can I tell you how frustrating it was not to find a single image of a squirrel as a doctor on the interwebs? Plenty of nurses but no squirrels. Ohhh, so you’re trying to tell me squirrels can be nurses but aren’t good enough to be doctors? This is unconscionable!





21 thoughts on “Diagnosis Butcheritis: The Follow-Up

  1. Aldrea Alien says:

    O_O Squirrel! Nurse outfit! … I can’t even process the cuteness!

  2. That’s one smart squirrel. 😀

    • Well, one of the voices in my head has to be or we’d eat nothing but popcorn, Klondike bars, and margaritas and probably decide that becoming carnies would be glamorous and exciting. At least until we got distracted by some new infatuation.

  3. Maybe a golfing squirrel? (Squirrel doctor on day off…?)

  4. cptam1947 says:

    So, the questions, which my dog Scully asks me, on our four mile hikes in the morning are good for a blog post. Curious, my dog is a little saucy, like a Habanero pepper with a tequila chaser. I really do converse with her, and she answers, in her own voice of course. My wife thinks I am suffering from some sort of PTSD. Scully is just a great friend, judgmental, but on the whole, when she isn’t licking her private parts, she’s awesome.

  5. Here’s a photoshop of a squirrel picture I made a couple years ago of Dr. ES:

    The nurse squirrel is cute, though!

  6. Christopher says:

    You can do eeet!
    This is exciting. Also, I think figments make the best friends.

    • They’re not too shabby. The sneaky thing about figments is the tequila shot challenge. You can’t drink a figment under the table, especially if you’re like me and can’t handle more than one shot.

      • Christopher says:

        Oh ouch. Yeah, you can drink til they disappear, but they always win drinking games. Typically win staring contests too since they don’t have to blink.

  7. hopecook says:

    lol…I’ve been on a break from mine too. Know how you feel! Yesterday I went back to it for the first time in about three weeks. Wrote a scene I’m soooo happy with. Good luck on your end!

    • There’s a new ending to your book??? Can I read it? I’ll beg if I have to!

      • hopecook says:

        LOL. You don’t have to beg, Kira! I didn’t want to bug you with it since you’ve already done so much reading for me. It’s not really a new ending, just an expansion and changing focus for a scene that wasn’t really pulling its own weight. But it does big time emotional resonance that I think (hope!) really affects the ending.

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