Dear Birth Mother


May 11, 2013 by Kira Lyn Blue

My adoptive mother will always be my Mom and since I will be sharing today with her, this letter is for the woman I’ve never met.

thank-you1Dear Birth Mother,

I can only imagine what today must be like for you, knowing you have children out in the world you’ll never meet. Today, I wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you.

I went many years as a child being bitter that you gave me up for adoption, and then I grew up. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be pregnant at 16. I can’t imagine what sort of judgement you faced from your family and friends. I can’t imagine carrying a baby for 9 whole months knowing you’d have to let me go. I can’t imagine the decision was easy for you. And I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve gone through since.

Because I have come to understand what a difficult choice it was to carry me to term, I am pro-choice. But damned if I don’t thank my lucky stars every day that you chose life. As a teenager, you turned your life upside down for me when you could have taken a much easier route.

I just wanted to say Thank you. Thank you for making such a tough decision. Thank you for giving me a chance with a family who wanted children. Thank you for knowing that this was what was best for me.

I have wonderful, loving adoptive parents. I’m married to a wonderful man. I’m a writer. And I’m happy.

You may not have raised me, but you still gave birth to me and made decisions to give me the best possible chances in life. For these things, I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.


Your Birth Daughter




6 thoughts on “Dear Birth Mother

  1. Being adopted is an amazing thing! I was adopted at age 7… while my mother kept my youngest sister.
    I am more than thankful everyday to my grandparents, who raised me and are my parents! I love the person I am, and without them… I would be someone else!
    It takes such courage and strength for someone to have a baby and give them to someone else, I really admire that when they know someone could do better and give that other person a chance to raise their baby.

  2. Val Mills says:

    You’ve left me with tears in my eyes, such a beautiful letter. I hope all birth mothers read this. And, just so you know, I’m an adoptive mother.

    • Happy Mother’s Day to you! I wanted to write something for adoptive mothers, too, but it kept coming out more specifically for my mom. So, she gets her own personal letter privately.

      It’s no small thing to be an adoptive mother. I will always remember the cross-stitch plaque on the wall in my bedroom as a child:
      “Not flesh of my flesh
      nor bone of my bone,
      but still miraculously my own.
      Never forget for a single minute,
      you didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.”

  3. […] ES, what’s a record???)…. Mother’s Day, Mother’s Day, Mother’s Day, Mother’s Day, and um…. something related to Mother’s […]

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